The most TIRING feeling in the world !

 I remember when we were little, my dad did all he could to help me and my brother break free of the  phobia of water and swimming because we seemed to not have much motivation to swim without apprehension or at least to learn to swim without anxiety. Personally I always drank some sea water even before I tried and sometimes just the thought of not knowing how strong the next wave was was threatening to me. The funny thing was that whenever the wave finally hit me in a splash I would realize that it was not as fierce as I thought but still i would hold on really "tiggght" to my dad's shorts and his arms even when we were just a step or two from the shore and he would yearn to make me lie flat to try and float but never! Well at a point one of his Belgian friends also offered to teach me when i was grown and in my late teens and I thought "okay now no more fear", but again I would be so stiff in my movements because I dreaded 'the next wave coming' or thought what if my feet never moved well enough to move me forward or something... my mind was always calculating, so end of story, my brother beat me to it! Recently when I paid him a visit and we went for a swim in a pool he flowed and tossed back and forth in sheer delight. I asked him how did you do it? I was totally shocked and even embarrassed at my child's play paddling movement at pool level 1 and he sighed and said:  I was tired of being afraid of what will happen. I was just tired of that feeling.  At that time I realized how true his statement was. Anxiety was simply tiring and fear, the most tiring feeling in the world! 

I do not know about you but personally I have come to find that the feeling of wondering what if, what will happen if I let go off something, or what will happen if I stepped deeper into something or what would be if I answered yes to something...is disturbing...that feeling is awful and tiring for me sometimes! And so it is for everyone who yearns to take a step in the right direction. When Peter in Matthew 14:22 yearned to step unto the water towards Jesus he was scared and nearly drowned, but because he came close to the thing he feared most, he is recorded to have made the boldest step among his fellow brothers in the experience of the miraculous. Today we can say Peter walked on the sea. And did he drown? No. Because the Lord had called him to do so despite his fears. Same, in our walk of faith, there is no "Peter walked on the sea" without the fear of drowning but at least, the stepping out makes all the difference. Are you anxious about what will be if you tried? Maybe the tiring feeling of anxiety should tell you its time to overcome. Even so, are you not tired of not knowing what intimacy with God and victory with God seems like? Are your failures and lack not driving you tired?When will you believe wholly in the Lord? When will you be sure about who you are? When will you be convinced of the love of God? When will you say "I am on the Lord's side?" When will you have more confidence? When will you DECIDE on some things? When will you let go of the shorts you are clutching on to in panic and actually try to swim? When will your Yes be Yes? When will you overlook your failures and believe in God's strength which he desires to give you? When will you act on somethings? When? 

Everyday I yearn to have that kind of victory my brother had in his swimming and i yearn for that in every area of my life, especially regarding what I know I ought to do and could do or be by Faith. And every day I secretly pray that when I hear the Lord say "come" that i do not stay where I am, that I will not spend years only to meet other people swimming in their God given purpose while I stood paralyzed because I did not draw close enough to God to discover or that I simply refused to believe and to try despite the waves. 
God has an amazing abundant life for you in John 10 :10, choose it, and face the waves of life with Him, do not be paralyzed by what you see, take a step of Faith daily, because I tell you anxiety is the most tiring feeling in the world !!! Child of God may you swim in Faith, even if afraid. 


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